HOUDINI Magazine

Erik Houdini

X Marks the Spot - The Great Man and The Death of Twitter


In the wake of Twitter's metamorphosis into "X", we've got to reminisce. Remember when it was just a social media platform and not an anarchic space controlled by everyone's favourite space eccentric, Elon Musk? To liken it to a pirate's map, the X marks the spot where Twitter finally died.

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But why on Earth would I use "X"? If I were itching for some verbal tennis with braindead nazis, white supremacist cheerleaders, and capitalist lapdogs, I'd hop on 4chan. That's what "X" is now, a 4chan with user handles. That's the crowd that bought into Twitter Blue, that's the content being championed on "X". Or should we just keep calling it Twitter? After all, Elon seems to have no qualms about deadnaming his own daughter, so we can surely keep the spirit of Twitter alive in our memory.

Twitter, in its former glory, wasn't a stripped down 4chan, it was a sprawling social media hub, not just a hotspot for the terminally online political extremists. I can tell you right now that the last place I want my brand promoted is next to @BasedAdolf1488's genocide fan tweets. But that seems to be Elon's grand vision. It's clear Elon, despite what his sycophant's tell you, isn't playing "5D Chess" but "5D Dumbass".

Still shocked that the level of hate speech soared under Musk's reign? Well, you ought to remember how he got his start - a legacy of wealth sown in the blood and sweat of exploited South African laborers during Apartheid. In many ways, Musk is the poster child for capitalism's grotesque underbelly. He ticks all the boxes: dubious gains through worker exploitation, astronomical stupidity despite his wealth, and a misguided legion convinced of his genius and diligence. The man's a sham, a grifter, and as bright as a broken light bulb.

Let's not lose sight of Tesla's record either, one of the last remaining non-union auto manufacturers in the U.S. Their Fremont plant was a seething hotbed of racism, even earning the nickname "The Plantation". Fitting, isn't it, considering Elon's Afrikkkaner roots? Looks like you can take the man out of the apartheid, but you can't take the apartheid out of the man.

And if you've ever heard Musk claiming that he founded Tesla, well, let's set the record straight. He didn't. He paid the founders, created a contract that allowed him to claim he did, a legally enforcable lie. Incredibly pathetic if you ask me. Imagine if it came out I didn't found this website, or my brand, nope, I've been paying someone else and taking all the credit. How do you sleep at night when all of your accomplishments are predicated on hollow lies? Is he self aware? Do you ever think he looks in the mirror and thinks "Wow I am a phony." Probably not.

This is the real face of capitalism's "Great Man" archetype: a lying, cheating huckster, padding his coffers with government money and riding on the coattails of hardworking, nameless engineers. As we work our lives away, there's a sad, divorced billionaire indulging in a hate-spreading social media spree. I might not be a billionaire or even a thousandaire, but at least I'm not as sad and pathetic as Elon, a man who, despite all his wealth, still lives a life built on lies.

How did SpaceX get so valuable? Good old tax payer money, cushy government contracts, and the hard work of engineers who do the heavy lifting Elon couldn't do if his life depended on it. I wouldn't trade places with the pitiful Elon Musk, a man living a lie despite all his wealth, no amount of money can combat the level of patheticness this man's aura puts out.

So, farewell Twitter. Your demise is a stark reminder that wealth and intelligence aren't mutually inclusive.

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